My Words
You're tuning in : San's Blog
San as you may call me. I choose rainbow theme in my blog as I can see that there is a hope in my life which was previously it was darkness. You don't get it?
Maybe I should not recall the past. But I am still nostalgia remembering about happy moment lately. I guess my mood is like a weather; there is a storm when I am angry, there is rain when I am sad, and there is a rainbow when I am happy.
Sound scary eh? A part of my life is boring. But I had a loyal company who named Jojo always cheer me up when I need her the most.
I like to see sunset by the seaside and listen to music. A special girl (ehehe..) as I am not a crazy fashionista but
I like to work out on my appearance. After all, looks is the key of confidence. Ok.. too much lecturing here!
So, if you like what I had said or my friend, stop by to say hi! Cheers :)
Thursday 23 June 2011
about:
Unflawless me.
Writer San
Looking into the mirror everyday, feeling wanna rip off yr ugly skin. ugh... i would rather have freckles than a lot of scars on my face. I've been trying so hard to get over with it. *sigh*
Him? I don't see him anymore after the last outing in Mid Valley. Its proved that this type of male looking for looks. hmmm... good to know eh.
All I wanted to have is a beautiful healthy skin. That's all! I wanna look good, confident enough to bring up myself.
Sukin... help me, please! Doctor Chu, help me please! Murad. help me please!
Sunday 12 June 2011
about:
Writer San
It's been a long time eh? i did'nt visit the blog. I guess i was too busy or perhaps ignoring the past. Somehow i came back to release my feeling of depression and confusion. A year of service with Malaysia Airlines had been not easy for me. There is so much to learn and adapt and yet I'm still learning to be what i wanna be!
Finding a person or bestie to comfort me. (there is) but my mouth was stuck like glue! I had problems that i've trying to solve and seek help from everywhere. Couldn't seem to be the solution. *sigh* first thing up, It is about my skin. Sometimes, if i would have a chance to turn back time. I would wanna choose to be a normal gal rather than a job that required me to put make up on everyday! I missed my flawless skin.
Secondly, I met this guy which i think he is annoying at first. But slowly, I like his companion. He is funny, honest and religious? However, I knew it cant be long. He stopped texting. And i have to start all over again to forget. He came back text me. And he stopped again! and again i have to repeat it to forget. ON and OFF! Until to one extent of an disagreement, i was so angry that i posted a comment on my wall and he found out. The truth is I am human with feelings and I have need someone to talk to and share with. Sometimes, facebook is a place that i throw my feelings at.
Now, i am sure he is mad at me! What should i do now?
Tuesday 31 August 2010
about:
Writer San
Blink blink... time goes by like a bullet train. Never realize that I am gonna achieve my childhood dream that i could never imagined or perhaps would? erm.. whatever!! Next week, Batch 05 is going to spread their wings. Some people I may presume that they are nervous, excited and scared. yea.. me too! And, I am gonna miss them though. I prayed that we will have a good and safe flight and more importantly, we dont want to get taruh le.. :(
haiz.. I guess, this is good bye then. huh? Just a hint to myself that I should keep this awful and disruptive feeling inside my head. Never let it out. Should you know that i ve been... !!! ahh... never mind da!!
I am gonna get what I want.. my teenage dream! <3 never ever look back! N.E.V.E.R!!!
Cheers~~ San <3
Saturday 10 July 2010
about:
Who say being a crew is easy like a kacang putih?
Writer San
If you dont agree with me, come let's have a talk.
It's been a month now, I have been in Malaysia Airlines Academy. My perception toward this whole course before I came here was totally tele with I had been through. A girl who dont groom herself well, who dont put on make up and who dont have fashion sense at all had changed!
But still, deep down inside, it is still me! The introvert-ness, passiveness and shy inside of me is hard to change within these four months. I mean it just so hard as I am trying to push myself up to my own expected level of transformation. It is easy to say hi and Good morning! How about building a long and fun conversation? Damn! I wondered!
I met a lots of wonderful friends throughout this period. They are from various job prospect of life; law graduate, teacher, sales assistant, sales executive, and etc. Of course, there are politics, gossip and competition are happening here which I tried not to get involve.
Now, I am doing Safety Emergency Procedure. The hardest part of all which is killing of brain muscle. I wonder will I end up with a heart attack later? hmm... :)
cheers..
Thursday 20 May 2010
about:
insomnia?
Writer San
What was I thinking right now? ish...
scar! eye bag! rashes! irritating... i couldnt sleep these few days, thinking so much that is so unreasonable to me which is
wasting my time and
damaging my brain cells! One day, as I was trying to put myself into a beautiful dream.. almost there! and poof! there goes another images in my mind, what to eat for tomorrow?
Nasi Lemak?! McMuffin?!! hehehehe... so lame la!
Oh, God please HELP ME! breaking down liao~~~ wuwuwuwu...
And then, when I was recalling back a few months earlier, I was so thrilled excited about Monday, when is gonna be 24th May. WHEN?!! Now, I feel nothing but the frustration of getting out of the trauma. Actually, that was not that bad la. I guess. Please pray for me that I will have a good night sleep after this especially this Sunday. I wanna regain my beautiful eyes without any dark circle.
Catherine is back to a good healthy lifestyle and it is very hard. Anyway, I will try my best.
Sob sob.. bye bye.. on9 late night, bye bye! sob sob!
Thursday 6 May 2010
about:
Does alcohol really help us or kill us?
Writer San
Some people take drugs just to release their tension and sorrow that laid deep inside their heart. It doesn't really make any difference with alcoholic drink though. Alcohol is like a potion that you tend to addicted to it and destroy your mind and relationship between your family. You see! It is heartbroken to see him acting that way. The words that he said and shouted at me, is too hard to bear. Words that had broken my feelings for so long and loses my self confidence and self esteem. Tonight, he is Mr.Hyde and the next day, he is normal again, begging for some money to get her so called drugs or something.
I am such a loser if I fall into his trap. If I give what he wants, he might turn into Mr.Hyde again. Sometimes, I am proud that he is a good joker dad. But sometimes,
I get too envious with some dad who take responsibilities as a father seriously. Providing educational support, strength and comfort. Ironically, some lucky son and daughter doesn't really appreciate with what they had.
However, I still have something good in return who I always love her. She is strong and likeable eventhough she is in pain more like I do.
I appreciate with what I had because I know
nothing is perfect in life. I might have the bad one but I get something good in return. hahaha..
Thursday 22 April 2010
about:
nightmare
Writer San
Nonsense! I would say! hahaha.. Can you imagine that You had a same nightmare on two continuous day without fail? I think I watch to much action movie liao!
Here how my story goes in my dream.. you promise that you won't laugh ya. If you do, just don't be a coward laughing behind my back. hehe.. just comment on my tagboard, please?! Thank you!
The story is like in a Scary Movie. My first dream was... The alien from other planet took over the planet. Mum, Dad and Sis had gone missing. Jojo, Bro and I hiding from those bad ugly and cruel alien. The darkness was so scary as I had to take care of them. We have to find some food in order to stay alive despite many bad bad enemies are around. Jojo also hungry.. so am I.. grr~
Second dream le.. same lo. but Jojo had gone missing and Brandon went to find her. To be continued!
Stupid, right? I thought so. People would think I am crazy over movie. But, awkward eh? It has been a long time I didn't watch movie liao la. So strange eh.. perhaps, this is a sign that we should repent?
